Mike Leach to Kansas. Everybody outside of Lawrence knew that was a pipedream. Almost as ridiculous as that Jim Harbaugh-to-Kansas storyline from 2009, when the Jayhawks ran the only decent football coach in school history out of town.
Other big names are being thrown out there, none more preposterous than Notre Dame’s Brian Kelly. I’m not making that one up, though it is from a message board. With that, as well as the stupefying expectations Kansas fans have for their next coach, in mind, here are a few suggestions for the Jayhawks next football coach:
MOLLY MCGRATH (WILDCATS)
Who better to coach the sport of kings, better than diamond rings …
HAYDEN FOX (COACH)
The man won at Minnesota State with Luther and Dobber as assistant coaches.
ED GENNERO
Despite playing iron-man football and having Sinbad on the defensive line, he tied Kansas 3-3 for Texas State’s first non-loss.
PAT SUMMITT
Winningest coach in NCAA basketball history. Never mind that she isn’t a football coach.
DARTH VADER
And you thought Mark Mangino was tough on his players.
YODA
He schooled Darth Vader. And he was about 800 years old. It might take that long to rebuild in Lawrence.
BOBBY “THE BRAIN” HEENAN
Who better to lead your team than the guy who managed Andre The Giant, among others?
JOHN WOODEN
Arguably the greatest coach of all-time. One issue: He isn’t alive.
VINCE LOMBARDI
Arguably the greatest football coach of all time. But: See John Wooden.
PHIL WESTON AND MIKE “JUICE BOX” DITKA
The former won a rec soccer league title, the latter a Super Bowl.
MICKEY GOLDMILL
“You’re gonna eat lightning and crap thunder …”
JESUS
I hear he’s good with reclamation projects.