Hey, Dad.
It’s been a while since I’ve written you. Of course, I “talk” to you every day. I’m sure I will until the day I join you in the afterlife.
Tomorrow will be our second Father’s Day without you. Last year was one of the best I’ve had and by far my best as a dad. For the first time, two of the kids chose to spend the day with me. Understandably, they’d spent that day with their biological dad in the years leading up to 2020.
It was a special day, even though it wasn’t quite the same without you. To honor you, I wanted to take the trip we often did on Father’s Day, driving to Southwest Missouri to visit Joplin, our hometown and several of the other places you loved. The kids patiently waited as we drove around town, stopped by the cemetery to see your dad and traveled around the countryside to Anderson and Neosho.
You and I talked many times through the years about fatherhood. I remember telling you it was a difficult day at times because I sometimes didn’t really feel like a dad. There are still times I still feel that way, but not often.
I’ve settled into the role as a father figure. I’m not great at it every day. As you know, I can be moody and impatient. Patience, of course, is one of the keys to being a good father. But, there are times that I feel like I’m knocking it out of the park.
One of those came today. For months, Brody talked about getting a car. We looked one time during the winter, but he opted to wait. Today, he asked if I would help him look at several cars he found online. I rearranged my schedule, as dads do, to help my son.
During the drive from Topeka to Kansas City, I spoke to Brody about all the things you’ve taught me about buying a car. A sampling of those lessons: 1. What to check during a test drive. 2. Never show your hand (how much money you have, what you have for a down payment, how much you like a car, etc.). 3. NEVER buy a car if you don’t like the deal.
During this “education,” Brody got to watch a negotiation (the part you loved, which you passed on to your sons), learned about the importance of credit and interest rates, and checked about 75 things on a car during the test drive.
Ultimately, Brody came home with his first car, a nice vehicle at a fair price. I told him not to tell his mom and sister until he got home, and I took a side trip to visit you while he was driving home so he could have a moment of glory with his proud mother.
I think I enjoyed it as much as he did. I kept thinking how grateful I was to have a father who taught Dan and I so many things. It was another reminder of how much of an impact a good father figure can have on a son and daughter’s lives.
I think about all the things Rory, Brody and Molly have learned from me, most of the lessons passed on from you: How to drive. How to shave. How to balance a budget. How to use tools. How to take care of a significant other. And thousands more.
I can’t think of a better way to say Happy Father’s Day to you then passing on your knowledge and carrying on your legacy.
Love and miss you, old man.