Like the movie, Dad was a ‘Big Fish’

It’s been more than two years since my father died. In the weeks and months after he passed, I thought about him constantly. I often said to myself, “Will there be a day that I don’t think about my dad?”

Twenty-eight months later, I don’t think about that anymore. I’ve realized that there will never be a day I don’t think about my old man, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. There will be a moment every day that reminds me of him.

Today’s was the movie “Big Fish.” Directed wonderfully by Tim Burton and acted masterfully by Albert Finney, Billy Crudup, Ewan McGregor, Jessica Lange, Helena Bonham Carter and Danny DeVito, among others, it’s a beautiful film about the relationship between fathers and sons.

In this case, the relationship is strained, partly because the dad, Finney/McGregor, embellishes every single story he tells, much to the chagrin of his straight-laced son, Crudup. As Edward Bloom, the father, says at one point, his son’s story-telling includes “all of the facts, and none of the flavor.”

That line made me think of all the blogs I’ve written in his space about my father’s life. The stories about stealing a motor scooter and driving it several hundred miles. The tales in prison of fighting men much larger than him. The yarns about being the jailhouse bookie, barber and real-life version of Red from “Shawshank Redemption.” Frankly, some hard-to-believe tales.

Unlike Edward Bloom’s far-fetched allegories, however, Dad’s stories are entirely true. They have all the facts, and the flavor, a product of a colorful life that didn’t need hyperbole.

One of the pivotal moments in the film is a conversation between Edward and Will, Crudup’s character. As the former rests in his bed, dying, he says, “Have I ever told you about …” and Will interrupts him, “Yes, we’ve all heard it.”

After Will’s wife and mother leave the room, he tells his father that he doesn’t know anything about him because his stories are “fake.”

“I’m about to have a kid of my own, and it would kill me if he went his entire life without understanding me,” Will says.

“I’ve been nothing but myself since the day I was born, and if you can’t see that, it’s your failing, not mine,” Edward responds.

It’s an important line that a lot of people miss in a movie full of great lines. You can learn everything about people by hearing what they say, not just listening to their tales. Ultimately, in the final scene, Will finally gets this.

“A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories,” he says. “They live on after him. And in that way, he becomes immortal.”

Immortal. Just how I see my father, who I’ll think about every day the rest of my life.