Rest in peace, Michael Butler: A classmate and humble man

If you’ve read this blog, you know “The Wonder Years” is a common thread. For many of the folks in my generation, it is a masterpiece that captures growing up in the 1970s and 1980s perfectly.

I’m reminded of another great episode this week as I think of a former classmate, Michael Alan Butler. Michael, by far the quietest person in our class of 36 at tiny Burlingame High School, passed away Monday at age 49.

The episode that I thought about immediately is “Square Dance,” which ran toward the end of the second season of “The Wonder Years” on May 2, 1989. In that installment, Kevin Arnold is partnered with Margaret Farquardt, an odd duck, as the students learn to square dance during the seventh grade.

Kevin finds Margaret interesting and begins to hang out with her but tries desperately to keep their friendship a secret. In the climatic scene, Margaret calls Kevin out during gym class and delivers a solid blow with her final line: “I thought you were different.”

In the closing monologue, Kevin says, “Maybe if I’d been a little braver, I could’ve been her friend. But the truth is, in seventh grade, who you are is what other seventh graders say you are.”

This makes me think of Michael because he was perceived as being different. He kept to himself, rarely said a word in class and wasn’t overly involved. He was an outsider, moving to Burlingame as we started high school in 1990. As a fellow outsider, I know all too well how difficult it is to fit in, especially if you aren’t of the “popular” ilk.

What I remember about Michael is that he had a tough time in high school, at least from my perspective. Some made fun of him, most didn’t attempt to befriend him. To say I had a similar experience wouldn’t be fair … but as an overweight teen, I completely understood the occasional verbal shot to the gut.

That’s why I never needled Michael. We didn’t talk much, but I do remember that we were paired in, ironically, PE class during a 2-on-2 basketball tournament. Imagine my surprise when we made it to the final four teams in a class of more than 30 people. His athleticism also caught me off-guard.

We all graduated in 1994 and moved on with life. In a world before the Internet and social media, some of us were not connected for many years. I thought about Michael every now and again, and he was one of the people I looked up when Facebook became a thing.

Michael struggled in recent years, his health failing in our 40s. He narrowly survived a scare a few years ago and spent his last few years living with his incredibly kind sister, Ruth, and her family.

From his obituary, I learned that he loved gaming, something we had in common, and listened to audio books. He is survived by his sister and brother-in-law, Christopher, along with two nieces, two great nephews, a great niece, friend Kami, aunts, and uncles.

During the monologue, Kevin closes by saying “The funny thing is, it’s hard to remember the names of the kids you spent so much time trying to impress. But you don’t forget someone like Margaret Farquhar. Professor of Biology. Mother of six. Friend to bats.”

I won’t forget Michael Butler. Humble uncle, brother, brother-in-law, nephew and friend. Lover of gaming and electronic gadgets. And, unfortunately, the first in Burlingame’s Class of 1994 to travel to the other side of the rainbow.