This portion of the book I’m writing about Brenda Keller is from Chapter 13, which describes her funeral service from Oct. 23, 1991.
While Beverly Rue and her husband Steve were at the service, a small bug crawled toward them and several others, and somebody nearby attempted to squash it. He waved the person off, saying, “Don’t do that. Brenda wouldn’t want you to do that.”
That was a fitting tribute among many that day for the little girl, but the greatest one came as the portion of the funeral at the school came to a close. Bob Keller, who originally planned not to speak, changed his mind. He gathered his strength, walked to the podium, and looked at the hundreds of people crammed in the gym. His first words, “My Strawberry is gone,” brought more tears, but his message was one of forgiveness, and his goal was to lift a community buckling to hate.
“I was hearing a little bit about anger,” he said. “I was hearing about people burning the Blakes’ house down, and I just thought I needed to defuse things.”
Topeka Capital-Journal reporter Roberta Peterson realized immediately that she was in Dover to share Bob’s message of compassion. In her story, she quoted much of his speech:
“Brenda would have understood that I could not pass up the opportunity to talk to a crowd of this size. It (a picture in his office that Brenda liked) is called ‘The Homecoming,’ and it depicts a person in the arms of Jesus Christ being welcomed to heaven. That is what keeps us going. We know that, last Saturday, Brenda experienced that greeting, and in his healing, caring arms, all grief and pain was swept away.
“But she’s not there because she loved animals, or drew pretty pictures, or wore T-shirts that said she was going to heaven. She’s there because she asked God to forgive her of her sins, accepted that forgiveness and received Christ as her savior and lord.
“And that forgiveness is available to all, even to the man who took her life.
“I saw my daughter in her casket for the first time yesterday. She was holding her Bible in her arms. I opened it to the place where she had been reading, where her bookmark was. And there, in bold type, were the words, ‘Love your enemies.’ I have to believe that God was speaking to me, and perhaps Brenda, too. Through this tragic time, we have to remember to love, and not to hate.”
The message, particularly Bob asking for forgiveness for the man who murdered his daughter, had a resounding effect on those attending the service. Dottie Wendland said to herself, “Bob, how can you do this?” Janet Baldwin was overwhelmed that he could forgive at all, let alone so quickly. Her husband, Greg, noticed that someone who just couldn’t forgive at that point got up and left the service. Amy Best wondered if Tracy, John, and Pat Keller shared the sentiment or were angered by it. Others, like Penny Lister, said it was one of the most courageous things they’ve ever seen.
“It was like he wasn’t there, like he was super-human. I just don’t know how he did it,” Lister said. “There were probably people there who had never set foot in a church, maybe had never heard a true salvation message. He did a fantastic job.”
Several people, including Lavella Buchmeier, said it strengthened their trust in God.
“To listen to Bob speak, to talk about forgiveness so soon … was the most amazing moment in my Christian faith, my walk with God,” she said.
Ultimately, Bob wanted his last tribute to his daughter to be one she would have believed in, a message from God.
“Robert felt like that was the last thing he could do for Brenda,” Jean Keller said. “And he delivered a terrific message.”
Bob didn’t consider his message that day as super-human. He felt like he had to help others as much as possible.
“I don’t know how other pastors do it, but when I’m pastoring a funeral, whether it’s an older person, or someone who is a good friend, or it’s a child, you have a professional reverence to do your job,” he said. “You don’t want to be out there crying. You’re there to provide comfort. I remember wondering why I wasn’t falling part … I was doing a job. I wanted to see if there was a way to help. I think in my mind that’s what I was doing. I don’t think I was strong. I had all those people, and there’s that sense that you had to make it so this counted for Brenda, so I shared what I did about God’s grace.”
Years later, Bob expanded on his message.
“I didn’t say at the funeral that I’d forgive Jon Mareska,” he said. “We started expressing forgiveness from God’s willingness to forgive. When I see stories about other people who go through this, or other girls that are treated like this, I become extremely angry. That’s why I like to watch movies and things (about crime). It helps me ventilate. I’m not any special anything, but I think it helped us to forgive, to say we forgive, so that those feelings wouldn’t just destroy us.”