Hi, my name is Ernie, and I’m an addict …
It’s true. I have an addiction. For decades now, I’ve been addicted to junk food. Pizza, nachos, Reese’s peanut butter cups, energy drinks, and on and on.
It’s not my only addiction. For about five years, I was addicted to exercise. So much so that I worked out for an hour or more twice a day. My goal was to burn at least 1,000 calories a day, preferably 1,500. That meant running twice a day a couple of times each week and running 40 miles a week.
That addiction coincided with soda and other sugary drinks. During my newspaper days, it wasn’t uncommon to see me roll into work with a 64-ouch Dr. Pepper. You read that right, four pounds of pop. Enough sugar to kill a horse.
The good news is I’ve never had one of those addictions everybody fears (alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, etc.). The bad news is the junk food addiction is every bit as destructive as the aforementioned vices.
I know this because I’ve lived it for a long, long time. I’ve tried to quit many times and have for a while, then I discovered a workaround: If I worked out all the time, I could eat whatever the hell I wanted without consequences. That, of course, is a con man’s game.
About nine years ago, I made a commitment to getting healthy when I moved in with my father. We spent that summer walking and running on a steamy dirt road outside of Melvern, Kansas, lifting weights in a sweltering shed and playing basketball on a concrete slab where ankles go to be rolled.
By the following summer, I’d lost about 50 pounds. My future wife helped me take the fitness thing to another level, feeding me healthy, organic foods while teaching me the intricate details of how most food companies flat-out poison what we eat.
By the spring of 2012, I’d lost 100 pounds. By the summer, I was down to 190 pounds, a loss of about 130 pounds.
Something changed that fall, though. Instead of working out once a day, I became obsessed with running. At first, the goal was to run 30 miles a week. Then, it was 40. Then, I had to run 2,000 miles in a year.
Along the way, I realized I could eat pretty much whatever I wanted to when I was running and lifting so much. Back came the Amp energy drinks, chicken tenders, giant Dr. Peppers and espinaca.
This lasted for more than three years. My wife warned me weekly. My father, too. “You can’t keep working out this much and eating that,” my better half said. “It’s going to catch up with you.”
It did, of course. By the spring of 2016, I was dragging. I’d noticed for about a year that I just couldn’t run as far as I used to. I couldn’t lift as much weight. I was tired all the time.
As I tried to out-exercise a bad diet, my body finally threw up the middle finger in the form of Epstein-Barr Virus, which I’ve written about extensively on this blog.
That illness felt like the fight of my life. I wondered if I was going to be the same again. Was I always going to be exhausted? Was I ever going to be able to exercise again? Would I be able to live a full life?
It took well over a year and a job change, but I did get my life back. I started working out again. I don’t run much anymore. After fitting 20 years worth of running into five, I’m OK with that. I’m now addicted to lifting weights, but in a good, positive way. I lift every other day and am lifting more weight than I ever have. Amazing how the body responds to proper rest.
Unfortunately, the junk food addiction has been an ongoing battle. I’ve never truly committed to quitting it. Until last week, that is. I started paying close attention to what I eat again. I keep a diary. I avoid the cookies, cakes and brownies that randomly show up EVERY day at work.
I realized just how much garbage I’ve been eating. In particular, I’d shifted my soda addiction from Dr. Pepper to aspartame-loaded Diet Dr. Pepper, which is even worse for you than sugary regular pop.
Being healthy obviously was the main reason, but another important reason is that it’s time to finish this journey. It’s been nine years since I weighed 320 pounds. I’ve still lost more than 100 pounds, but I need to lose another 30. I’ve been stuck on the same weight for more than three years.
I’m writing this because I believe it holds me accountable. Feel free to remind me of that if you see me walking toward the donuts or reaching for a Diet Dr. Pepper. I promise I won’t respond like Chris Farley.